You are a leader without any followers.

Haven't been sleeping very well and these are some of the things on my mind.

1. Went to see Control at the Belcourt over the weekend. First of all, the story is a superbly written account of Ian Curtis' rise and fall. If you know anything about Joy Division, I am sure you are already aware of his battle with depression and epilepsy. I am very often in awe of people who are so keenly and simultaneously aware of the beauty and ugliness of life. I think no matter what, even if you're not a fan of Joy Division, the film itself is just so gorgeously shot that it's worth a watch. First of all it's in super high contrast black and white, so visually it's really lovely. Secondly, each frame is perfectly composed and would work independently as a photographic still. Just lovely.
2. I recently discovered Pandora (I may be a little late on this one). Right now I'm listening to a Joy Division station/mix. Some tracks on the station are somewhat obvious (Joy Division Station thus far includes: New Order, The Cure, well, and Joy Division. Right now, Modern English is playing.) I am pretty much in love with this idea since I'm a little bored with my music selection. More experiments to come. I wonder what would happen if I put in something a little more obscure like Mulatu Astatke. Ok, so I did it. So far, so good. Damn. I love Pandora!
3. We have mice. They are driving me crazy. After 3 months of traps (that haven't caught a damn one) and poison in the basement, the landlord has finally hired a professional exterminator to come today and take care of the problem. I used to be one of those people who didn't want to kill them, but now I want those little bastards dead. We can hear them in the walls, scratching at the innards of this house throughout the night. It's the most annoying sound in the world. Also, for some irrational reason, I keep thinking they're gonna fall from the ceiling into my bed while I'm sleeping. It's dumb. I'm dumb. They're dumb.
4. I'm addicted to reading other peoples' blogs. Especially if they are smart. I like smart people. The only problem is unless you know them personally, it kinda creates a false intimacy. Like, because you are reading their thoughts, you know them and how their mind works. This is not the case, because some people formulate their thoughts specifically to get you to like them. Maybe, maybe not. I don't, per se. What I do is say exactly what I think and type it as it comes to me. Some people maybe edit themselves a little more...this 4 is dumb. I don't know why I'm saying this, but to further my case regarding me not being calculated when it comes to blogs, I'm gonna post it anyway.
5. I got sucked into stuffwhitepeoplelike. It's one of those obviously funny blogs with observations to make you question your own cleverness (or lack thereof).
6. I need a job. I have an interview today, so hopefully they'll see how smart, funny, good I am. It's worse than a freaking first date. I have about 30 minutes to convince them of my abilities. Ugh.
7. Insomnia is one of the worst afflictions you could ever wish on your worst enemy.
8. A Guatemalan man read my palm at Alley Cat this past Sunday. He said, in Spanish, "You are scared of falling in love."(duh, who the hell isn't. and if they aren't, what the hell is wrong with them?) He also said "You are a leader without any followers. But in time, you will have followers." This keeps resonating in my head, "You are a leader without any followers." "You are a leader without any followers." No shit. I don't really want followers. It makes me nervous. I am barely responsible enough for myself. I mean, I'm responsible, but not really. Case in point, It was such a lovely day Sunday that my girlfriends and I went to the neighborhood bar and drank from 4pm in the afternoon to last call at 3am. I guess because it was 2 4 1's, I was kinda being responsible. Also, I would just like to point out that I was able to understand the majority of what this man was saying throughout the entire evening. I was able to translate for my friends and even speak to him in Spanish for most of what I needed to say. I want to be fluent.

I have nothing else.

xo
m

ps. More Joy Division. I love them.