Monday, July 7, 2008

Picture Book

Mom sent me some photos tonight and I have some words to share about my feelings regarding them, but I'm not exactly ready to share them with the masses (and by masses, I mean all of you who read my "blog").

I will simply say, we should speak to our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents before they are gone. They have stories, they've lived entire lives. We have no idea. We should ask questions. We should really care. We're the reason they existed (I know: I don't mean they're the reason we exist, the statement is intentional). We're the absolute proof of their love.

I have regrets when it comes to asking my family questions. Why did I allow certain subjects to be taboo?

I have had two Grandmothers pass. I have one still currently living. All 3 of my Grandfathers are no longer living. They all had (and have) so much wisdom to share and most of us take this for granted.

We don't know everything. I don't know everything.

Here are some photos my Mom sent me today.

Friday, July 4, 2008

for the record.

04 Jul 08 Friday 3:17 AM

I make a pretty solid attempt at living my life as a very stand up individual. I say what I think. I do what I feel. Sometimes, I'm honest to the point of brutality. I am direct. I attempt not to play games. For the most part, I am this person. I am this person who lives according to a set of self proclaimed guidelines and rules: personal ethics; if you will. I do not believe in abiding by societies' rules. It is not because I judge societies' rules; you can have them if you feel it necessary.

Lately, however, there has been some trivial controversy surrounding my ethics. There has been some tiny minute drama concerning my life-style choices. And I have been pretty upfront about my belief in rising above what some people perceive as poor choices. I have refused to be defensive. I have refused to take a part in the entire debacle. I am, for the most part, proud of myself. I am not always proud of specific choices I have made but I have a belief system and the ability to discern (for myself) whether or not I have been a good person or bad person. However, with all this being said, I am not made of stone. I feel. I hurt. I get angry. And no matter what, no matter what anyone says or what I say, you make your choice to believe in me. You make the choice to understand where I'm coming from or to forgive me for my grievances.

I am, exactly who I am. I am human. Just like you. And no matter what anyone says about me, I will keep going. I will persevere. You can't forever hurt me. I have more strength than any negativity you can throw my way. I have more strength than this life gives me credit for.