there is so very much going on right now and i haven't posted in a while...so, this may be choppy, it may be slightly um, blah, blah, blah...but for the few of my good friends who read this..it will kind of get you up to date on the life of me.
-let's see. good things first. our dryer broke. (well, that's not the good part..wait for it, wait for it...) so, i had clothes in the wash when it decided not to blow or spin or do anything, for that matter. good thing we have a clothes line out back. when is the last time you actually hung some clothes out to dry on a wash line? for some reason jill even had some old school wooden clothes pins. it was so very cathartic...the whole process, basket of wet towels on the hip, the sun, the smells...i am pretty excited about this. i may just hang dry everything from now on. it gave me time to reflect on my week..on my month, on where i am and where i am going and what i want. more about this later.
-yesterday was a fantastic day. we spent the morning out on our back porch (slab!). coffee, magazines, music, friends, dogs running about, finding squash on the fence-line from our neighbors garden, more coffee. what a great way to spend a sunday morning. we must have sat out back for at least 3 hours...and the proof is in the little bit of sunburn on my nose, arms and chest. lovely, lovely day.
-one of my profs is an architect. last week he told the class he would rather hire a B student than an A student every time. And why? Because a B student shows they believe in a balance of life and career. I realized I have been trying to be both. The A student with balance. And, it's not working. I barely have time to have a social life. And if i do have a social life, I regret it when it comes time to cram in my homework the day before it is due. And then the homework is sub-par. So, today I decided to drop a class. It is an elective, so I don't really need it to graduate...but the class is for a computer program that is very useful in 3-D modeling. The only problem is the program really seems very counterintuitive. I picked up AutoCAD quicker. (and believe me, AutoCAD is a bitch to learn). Anyhow, I dropped it. Now I have more time to do things I need to do...like hanging laundry out to dry...walking to bongo for coffee and conversation...sitting in my back yard with my little annabelle and lulu...talking to my jillybean...and generally time to just "be".
-on another positive note, i have been doing very well with the quitting smoking business. i have had a cigarette here or there, but literally, i light one, then hand it off to someone or put it out. It's been fairly easy so far. We'll see what happens. Wish me luck.
-the entire myspace "top friends" thing is silly. i never really paid much attention to the number (like .. 1 friend). if you are in my top friends its either because i love you, or its because i find you interesting, or its because i want to know you better, or just because i find you to be intriguing. i normally don't pay attention to what .. i have someone listed...if you are offended by this, sorry...if you find it strange you are in there, well...good. everyone should enjoy a little strangeness every once in a while.
-this is a redundant question..why do people find me to be strange? why do some people not get me? i know i say what i think, i know i say what i feel. i know sometimes i say more than i should. but i don't believe in hiding my feelings...i believe life is short. (trite, yes...but it is damn true!) i also believe people play games when they are really just scared to say the truth. what's wrong with saying " i want to get to know you" or "you know what, you aren't for me." NOTHING is wrong with speaking the truth. and the problems come in when people play games. leaving out part of the truth, ignoring someone to "punish" them. this isn't all from experience and it doesn't pertain to anyone in particular...just stuff i have been thinking about lately.
enough. i'll end with:
i love my house. i love my friends, new and old. i love my annabelle and jill's lulu.
i wish for more days like yesterday...and clear, gorgeous skies. i wish for truth and honesty and i wish for love for all my people.
m
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