Thursday, May 15, 2008

I get where you're coming from...

When you're young and you feel you have so little to risk, it's easy to say things you aren't necessarily sure you believe in. You say things like, "I love you", when you've only known someone for a moment, you say things like, "let's move away together, it's easy to start over, you should go…"

But when you're a little older, the connections you have in this world become less fleeting, they become more real and complete connections and these connections aren't exactly something you're really able or ready to simply throw away on a whim.

I've been here 8 years now. Actually, 8 years almost exactly give or take a few days. And the people I have met here have become the threads woven into the tapestry that is my life. To even think about leaving would only cause an unraveling unlike any I've ever experienced.

If I ever say to you, "I'm going", If I ever say to you, "I'm over this", I only expect you to say, "I completely understand, I get where you're coming from", but I don't expect to hear you tell me to go.

And if you do, I'll just say, "I completely understand, I get where you're coming from."

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


Every once in a while you take that long forgotten path down memory lane and along the way you keep your eyes narrowly focused on the good and allow the bad to take the back seat on the journey. Doing so allows you to smile. Doing so allows you to forget all the sadness and all the pain. Doing so allows you to keep the crying, the hurt, the anger, completely stowed away. Who wants to remember the baggage anyway? It's so much better to keep the funny little inside jokes outside and the "fuck yous" and "go to hells" hidden and forgotten. But I think a little bit of our path becomes hazy if we choose to ignore those things.
Looking on the sunny side is good for our souls for a while, until we start to allow them to beat up on our souls in spite of growth and understanding. I say if you're angry, say so. If you're hurt, shout it out loud. But then move on and accept where you've been and what you've allowed yourself to go through. Unless it was utterly malicious, then you had a part in the wrong as well. You allowed yourself to be there. No one story is ever completely one-sided. It just always appears that way to you because that's the only frame of reference you have to work with. You make the choice to move on. You decide your path. And again, your path should always be about forward motion. You just have to decide the pace at which your forward motion progresses.